Hiccupping through life

Hiccupps...haven't we all felt them before! It's a funny sensation...our body vibrating to the rythm of nature - grounding us to the moment, the present, the reality. It makes us stop what we're doing, what we're thinking...and concentrate on the feeling these hiccups bring with them. I too want to use this blog to take some time to jot down the feelings, the experiences that life brings with it, and would love to share em' with ya!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

My life 101


I'm sitting at my sister's place in Seattle...looking outside the window, and writing my first blog. The place is absolutely gorgeous...Lake Washington glittering, the distant lights of the Seattle skyline with their reflection shining in the water, the little tiny houses on the hills nearby- I feel like I'm in a resort! How do people live here I wonder!...I'm here on vacation these days, I live in Mississauga, a suburb of Toronto myself. I guess it would be appropriate to call it a vacation, though I'm not sure if it really was intended to be just that. You see, life's been a bit strange for me the past few months....
I was laid off from my job at the end of January. Though getting a new job seemed like an easy prospect at the time, I simply felt robotic and dead working in software company settings. I decided to take the time to try to figure out which direction I want to head in. 3 months later, the clouds seem to have lifted somewhat, but I still have a way to go before I can definately say I know what my passion is. Some people I believe know their passion, what they love - but for me there are alot of things I have interests in, but I haven't experienced any one of them enough to know that it was what made me tick.
Right now I'm caught between realism and idealism. The way of reality seems to be to take another job, and learn to accept and build life around what I have - what I'm qualified to do. Following this norm will keep me alligned with society, and not get strange looks from friends and people who ask me about what I'm doing in life. But my dreamy self tells me to follow the unknown path....the path which seems dark and scary right now, but might have an opening to a place which makes me feel happy and peaceful at the end of it. I sit in confusion right now. My sister is my realistic half....as I write, she talks about meeting with someone at the software company she works at. I am a confused mess right now....I wonder if I'll just stick it out, or if I can really dare to be different!
Mom's waiting to watch a movie with me....so gonna sign off for now, will chat more later...